Current Addiction

When you take the “L” out of health it becomes heath. No shit, right? My point is that these two words should never have been so closely constructed in general pronunciation within the English language.

No worries fans of all things sexy Aussies, I’m not going harp on the fact that Heath Ledger isn’t exactly the ideal description of health…even though that is a damn good point. Good thing I’m just a regular bitch and not the sadistic kind ;)

The hunk I’m referring to doesn’t come with gelled curls, flashy chompers or clown makeup. It doesn’t win Academy Awards, play with cowboys or drop panties. My hunk of choice is, however, an orgasmic blend of all things naughty that feel so right, and just as you give in to its temptation, the rush is over faster than you can hang your head in shame.

A hunk of English toffee covered in smooth milk chocolate enclosed in a delicate wrapping is my drug of choice for the moment. I keep telling myself that it’s okay to pop tiny Heath bars like they’re placebo pills. For one, they’re miniatures, damn it; it’s not like I’m scarfing down the regular sized ones in an attempt to single handedly parachute my ass as the replacement source for the earth’s depleting atmosphere in order to sooth the fears of the greenhouse effect. *huff and puff* Plus, the more tiny wrappers I encounter, the easier it is to imagine an “L” between the “A” and the “T.” I mean how dangerous could a candy bar be whose name is so similar to the word health? I know…stupid argument, but I’m not ready to look at the fat content just yet so fuck off. Haha

I guess I’m mostly binging on British bars because it’s Valentines Day…or Venereal Disease Day as I like to call it. Please don’t get me wrong. I’m not a hater because I’m single. I’ve never saw much need in the seemingly bogus holiday; it seems selfish to me to designate one day to show someone you care with cliché gifts that obviously had no preconceived though placed into their purchase.

It was two years ago today that I realized I was in love with my best friend. Even though those feelings are long gone, I still can’t help but get depressed whenever I think of what might have been. Before you think it, let me set the record straight and say that I’m not the cynic who runs from emotions. With that said, I must admit I did hide from these feelings and refused to let them surface for 11 months. When I finally told him…well, you know how this story ends. If he would’ve embraced the ideas of spooning with his best friend, I highly doubt I’d be popping Heath bars like they’re candy….errr, wait. Haha!

The text message he sent me on Valentines Day two years ago read: “I know you don’t celebrate Valentines Day b/c there shouldn’t be just one day to tell you how special you are. With that said, Happy February 14th. You’re amazing so I’ll be sure to tell you Happy February 15th tomorrow.” I never did get that Happy Feb 15th.

Uggh, I’m gonna go eat another Heath bar…don’t judge me! Happy February 15th everybody :D